Many of us have a bad habit of judging ourselves based on our ideal self that hasn’t actualized. We have big goals and aspirations, and we want better for ourselves. We see where we want to go, and we see… we’re not there yet.
Our expectation is that we should be there. In fact, we should have gotten there a long time ago.
And of course, once we do reach the ideal, there’s always a greater vision that replaces it. We always want more, we always strive to be better. If we reach our goal of earning $5,000 a month, it’s easy to think that we need to replace it with a bigger goal of $10,000 or $15,000.
Because of this, we get caught in a closed loop of disappointment in ourselves. We’re always “not there yet.”
This isn’t a very fun way to live. We end up beating ourselves up much of the time, and we forget how far we’ve actually come. We also forget that the goal isn’t to reach the perfect destination, or climb the highest summit, but it’s to create a path that we never want to stop walking.
The biggest problem with judging yourself based on your ideal future self is that you forget that you’re already whole. The goal isn’t to fix yourself. It’s to realize that the idea that you’re imperfect is a lie. The best way to live is from a state of self-possession, to move confidently, expanding that wholeness.
We also forget how far we’ve come on our journey and what we’ve done along the way. When we’re deep in the forest and look ahead, it’s easy to get frustrated by how far we have yet to go. But by remembering to look back at the distance we’ve covered we can become reinvigorated and inspired to keep going.
If it doesn’t seem like you’ve traveled very far, I bet that you have. Your habit of tunnel vision — seeing only what you want to become, but are not — keeps you from acknowledging your accomplishments and victories. Realize that you’re exactly where you need to be right now.
Vision and desiring more is a beautiful thing. But your desires exceeding where you are should never be the way you measure your self worth.
My question for you: Have you ever judged yourself based on the ideal you want to achieve?
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