I have an embarrassing confession to make (especially as a supposed “leader” in the personal development world).
Over the last five years my passion for self development has quietly withered and nearly died.
I took an overdose of trite, feel-good self help banter and it led to me abandoning the world I had come to love so much.
But it wasn’t always this way.
I’m not exactly sure when the crescendo broke.
The onset of the symptoms were too slow and subtle to detect. I just remember growing bored and agitated by the predictable rah-rah advice from personal development gurus and their aspiring offspring. You know, the social media chorus of “Just do what you love and follow your dreams!” and “Be more epic and forget the status quo!” and “77 ways to be more happy right now!”
Of course, I’m making a caricature out of the matter. But in many cases, that’s what it felt like.
What was once rooted in a solid bed of authentic nourishment felt processed and empty. Taken out of context and muttered as a mindless mantra, any great advice runs the risk of becoming a hollow prayer.
But instead of seeing the truth of the matter—that I had outgrown something that had once served me or that I had simply become desensitized by hearing sermons become soundbites—I let my heart grow cold.
Rather than feeling the good intention behind their efforts, I only saw the veneer. It became so predictable, so common, that I began to secretly judge these bloggers, aspiring teachers and coaches as naive and deluded.
I even started to question my own work (which obviously holds striking similarities to many of these enthused writers).
I started to give up on the world that had given me so much.
I turned my back and discarded all of it without discernment. I needed to cut the fat, but I took away too much, and was left with only bone. I grew arrogant and distant. And my heart slowly closed off.
What I really needed was to filter through the noise to better discern what really mattered.
I’m learning that now.
I’m letting go of the judgement. I’m realizing that it was rooted in my own self judgement. Withholding love and criticizing my own work led to me to trying to make myself better than others.
Basically, I became a cynical asshole.
And now, I’m opening my heart back up.
Like many people do when they need to make a change, I made an overcorrection.
What was quietly transformed and left in the ashes.
Here’s the tricky part:
Some of what I became jaded about came from a place of outgrowing it and becoming more mature. I saw the error in trying to fix ourselves when we are inherently perfect. We’re born perfect, free, beautiful. It’s only through growing up (a.k.a., domestication), trying to become something and comparing ourselves to others that we are covered with lies and falsehoods.
Now I see growth as a process of shedding the limiting beliefs, discarding the untruths and letting go of everything that doesn’t serve me and the world.
That means letting go of the productivity banter — the do more, be more and be epic chatter that is rooted in trying to be something we’re not.
These days, it’s all about amplifying and releasing the natural greatness within me. Not trying to shape brokenness into greatness.
The Real Truth
Greatness is. It’s our basis. Our core. It’s unchangeable. We can either unfold it, surrender and support it, or we can cover it up and be ashamed of it. <- Click to share.
So right now, in this moment, I accept everything, love fiercely and graciously let go of anything that doesn’t serve me and the rest of the world.
Discernment and maturity? Hell yes. Judgement and closure? No thank you.
Question: Have you ever become jaded about something you once deeply loved? Share with the rest of us and heal yourself.