How often do you end each day feeling that you haven’t done enough?
I usually feel like I could have done more, I could have been more.
My list is long. My ambitions are ballsy. And my vision always seems to be greater than the resources I possess.
It’s no wonder that creative giants beat themselves up about not being and doing enough.
So, here’s an uncomfortable question I need to ask you:
How’s that working for you?
My guess is, not too well. I’ve found that I’m far more productive, effective and creatively on fire when I’m fueled with encouragement and praise rather than constant critique.
What follows are five of the world’s most powerful antidotes I’ve discovered for stopping the cycle of judgment, shame and poor performance.
These strategies or ways of being will help you start becoming your own ally so you can let your greatness shine.
1. Create a “What I’m proud of ” ritual and anchor it.
Watch this short video to learn how I’ve experienced massive changes from using this strategy.
2. Shift from “Did I do enough?” to “Did I give my best?”
Our post-industrial cranking culture has us trained to think in quotas. Throughout our schooling we’re taught to do assignments, fulfill credits and complete curriculums.
There’s just one major problem:
Humans are not machines.
So stop basing your worth on quantity (we all know that doesn’t add up to much in the end anyway) and start gauging your success on whether you gave your best, loved fully, and gave bravely.
That’s what will truly matter when all is said and done.
3. The truth is that you are always enough.
The problem is that you’ve let your mind rule your life too much.
When we’re in our heads too much, we’re always measuring, we’re always counting.
Don’t get me wrong, our minds help us a lot. It’s great at comparing and contrasting, and without our mind we cannot learn from our mistakes and get better.
But we must also keep the heart in its proper place, which is to guide us to what matters.
The truth is that in this moment, right now, you are always enough. You are exactly as much as you need to be.
4. Pretend that you’re talking to yourself as a best friend.
It’s easy to judge yourself harshly. It’s so stupid, yet we all do it.
But, would you talk to a good friend that way?
We are harder on ourselves than we would ever be to a good friend. Why is this?
Doesn’t it make more sense to be your own ally, rather than constantly root against yourself?
The next time the Voice of Judgment comes up, respond as if you’re giving advice to a good friend.
5. Let the world pass you by.
It’s easy to get caught up in the endless more, churning… the hungry ghost of the modern world.
I do it. We all do it.
We’re always encouraged to produce, build, create, squeeze. We’re stressed, overwhelmed and tired. We have too much yang (masculine) energy in our culture, and not enough yin (feminine) energy.
But we forget that the world outside is just fine.
Go ahead, go out into nature and see if it is overwhelmed or stressed. You won’t find a depressed squirrel or an overwhelmed river. You’ll find what is.
Whenever you forget, go back to where you came from, the place you’ve wandered away from, and realize that that place is your home.
And it’s always waiting for you.
My dare to you: Defy the status quo and share what you’re proud of
It’s not easy. I know it’s not.
We’re taught that it’s impolite to talk about what we’re proud of. But I’m here to tell you that you must if you don’t want to burn out fast.
Go ahead and share one thing you’re proud of at this moment in the comments below. I dare you.