For much of my life, I rebelled against things. I thought the “system” was my enemy and I wanted to deconstruct everything.
And I felt like society was “against me.”
So for much of my teenage and adult life, I sought to break things down. I did whatever I could to discredit the establishment. I looked for holes and pointed them out. I saw the faults and the hypocrisy and I thought, “Why are so many people following these fakes?”
I rejected pretty much everything.
But the truth is, I started to feel pretty lonely. Even though I hung out with other “nonconformists,” I still felt like I was on my own.
Then I realized that I had rebelled against pretty much everything. And I was left alone.
I isolated myself because I thought everything was fake. It turns out that what I was really doing was rebelling against myself.
After spending my whole life breaking things down, I realized that I overlooked building something beautiful. After a life of being against everything, I forgot to think about what I was for.
I used to spend a lot of time thinking about everything I wanted to quit (my day job at the top of the list). I thought about all the things I wanted to “drop out” from: society’s rules, the life template, etc.
Well, while I was busy trying so hard not to sell out, I had really souled out. I was so consumed with not being down with that, that I wasn’t down with anything.
I’ll tell you right now: that’s a pretty shitty place to be. When you spend all your time critiquing, judging, and deconstructing, you’re not living. You’ve created a vacuum where you can live with the illusion that you’re “safe” from all of society’s “falseness.”
Well intentioned deconstruction turns into pretentious rejection.
The reason I’m telling you all this stuff
I think a lot of people get stuck on this path. We realize that there are problems, and we realize that some things should be questioned and broken down.
But it’s too easy to spend your whole life “breaking things down” without building anything up.
Because that’s the whole point isn’t it? Otherwise everything you’ve dropped out of is in vain.
I’ve spent the past year really thinking about this. I thought I wanted to quit my job to escape. But what I really wanted was to create something worth living for.
I think that I’ve done that here.
I want to help you create something beautiful
Next week, I’ll be launching a program that is designed specifically to help you not just “drop out” of mind-renting, but “opt-in” to living on purpose, and getting paid to do what you love.
I know how frustrating it can be to not be where you want to be. You want something different, but you’re not sure what that is yet. You might have an idea, but it’s not yet clear.
I can help you get clear about the direction you want to head.
I also know how difficult it can be when you know where you want to go, but you’re just not sure how to get there. You know where you want to be, you’re just not sure what steps to take. You don’t have a plan. And if you do, you’re not sure that it will work.
I can help you nail down the exact steps you need to take, AND help you create a plan that will make it inevitable you succeed.
Because it’s not just about breaking things down. It’s about building something up. Building something that you can live for. Something you can be excited to wake up to. Something that you know will make a difference, and make you feel fulfilled.
That’s what I want to help you with. Creating a living doing something that you’re passionate about, you’re gifted at, and that makes a difference in the world.
I hope you’ll join me this Tuesday when we’ll start working side-by-side to make this happen for you. I have to be honest with you though… I’m limiting this course to only 50 highly motivated individuals so that I can devote as much time as possible to everyone. A lot of people have already told me how excited they are about this, so it’s likely the spots will fill up quick.
To make sure you reserve a spot, and if this sounds like something you might benefit from…
Congrats on this launch, Jonathan… that’s really exciting!
I love your words, “But it’s too easy to spend your whole life “breaking things down” without building anything up.” That really struck a nerve, and made me think. I look forward to seeing the details of your program!
:)
Karen
Dreamin’ the Life
Jonathan,
I’m in the same place you are … which maybe isn’t all that surprising given that we have the same birthday. :)
I love that your approach is focusing on the positive (what you WANT to do) vs the negative (what you DON’T want to do) can make all the difference in the world. No matter what the cynics say, there is a great power in positive thinking that leads to positive action.
Looking forward to what comes next for you. Thanks for sharing.
This is a great way to put it Jonathan.
It’s so easy to tear things down in your life and in others but so much harder to take a step back and build something up to create it. You find this difficulty in every rebellion, revolution, counterculture – the lack of something to replace what you take away.
“Because it’s not just about breaking things down. It’s about building something up. Building something that you can live for. Something you can be excited to wake up to. Something that you know will make a difference, and make you feel fulfilled.”
You’re right, you’ve summed up what creating and leaving a legacy is. I look forward to your program, Jonathan. Congrats.
Paul
Yes, I too was like that for a couple of years. It was pretty depressing. Now I’m doing exactly what you said. Building something beautiful with my life and encouraging others to do the same.
Thanks, Jonathan.
If we go too far in unmasking there is something else that is unmasked (the motivation of the one doing the unmasking). – Victor Frankl
I think I’m clear on the direction I want to head in – making my living from my blog and selling info products.
If you think you could help me do this, I’m interested. But the page only lists the time to enrolment, no other information (unless my server is misbehaving or something).
Wishing you every possible success with it.
There is a saying “What you see within, you see without”.
That’s something I definately noticed in my life. I got to a stage (and am still around that stage) where I had ripped out so many of my programmed choices. Now I’m sitting here and I’m left with only one thing to do… Choose where to go. It’s odd knowing you have to make a choice for yourself when before it was easy to just let the normal flow of a predefined life push you.
Hey Jonathan. I liked this line, “Well, whle I was busy trying so hard not to sell out, I had really souled out.” It was very creative using the pun “sold” as “souled” and it also makes a lot of sense to how this made you feel at the time, such as giving away your soul by critiquing, judging, and deconstructing society and its rules.
This is really thought provoking. I see alot of people out there like this, shunning as much as possible.
I’m guilty of it too. Though I put effort in to maintain moderation.
What it seems your talking about here is moving towards or away from a goal.
If you dream of a life of giving, only you spend your time rejecting, then there is a conflict there which cannot be resolved.
Out of interest, did you leave your job?
It’s something I think about alot myself. For me its a difficult decision to make, because I enjoy the place where I work to an extent, and I have also not fully built up something that is more important yet. On the other hand, I wonder if I am merely delaying the inevitable.
Heya jonothan!
I wish you much success with your new program, and I hope that it helps many people achieve what you have.
I think it is a natural part of the journey, the question, the breaking things down, but sometimes we indeed get stuck in that mode without realising that we actually want to build something up and live life the way we want it. It’s a matter of delicate balance, rejecting that which we do now want, but embracing the things we need to get the kind of life we do want!
Keep it up!
Cheers
Diggy
I must agree it’s very easy to walk this path. With so much palpably wrong with the world there is just so much to reject. History judges action though not intentions and rhetoric, I’ve also tried to take the plunge this year to talk less and do more. The doing is to my mind the antidote to the negativity. I suppose if we can continuously act on the things we reject we’re far less likely to be consumed by those things we’re against and can more readily embrace the things we’re for.
Love to be involved in this Jonathan… unfortunately, I’ll be away at a work conference for the week, so chances are I’ll miss out. Maybe next time :)
I think most people spend their whole lives focusing on what they don’t want. And I think people like complaining. But when you call them out on it and ask them to do something about it, they recoil into their cave of misery and sit there.
I think it’s hard, as people get closer to mid-life, to remember that they once had dreams. And it’s even harder to convince them to re-ignite them.
Here, here, Jonathan! Anyone spending their time encouraging people to ‘not settle’ in their lives should be applauded. Thank you
Debbie_L
Invisible Heartstrings
I can totally relate to what you’re saying. I’ve spent a lot of my life–probably too much–eliminating from it things I *don’t* like. Elimination is all well and good as long as you balance the it with positive activities. But if you just eliminate, you end up with nothing.
«But it’s too easy to spend your whole life “breaking things down” without building anything up.
Because that’s the whole point isn’t it? Otherwise everything you’ve dropped out of is in vain.
(…) I thought I wanted to quit my job to escape. But what I really wanted was to create something worth living for.» Jonathan Mead
Eureka!!
Thank you :)
Awesome, Jonathan! Can’t wait to see the details. Everything you’ve put out so far has been inspiring.
And I’ve recently switched my focus to building rather than moping around doing nothing… much more energizing and fun that way!
Yes, I also know exactly what it is that I don’t want to be doing. As for what I DO want to be doing, that’s a whole other ball of wax entirely. I’ve read and read, meditated, written out my thoughts, analyzed my desires and talents, but the answer still isn’t clear. And yes, it is very frustrating, as I desperately want to get started on the right path making a my true contribution to this life, and not be lead down another empty, soulless one. I look forward to the course. Thank you :-)
Congrats Jonathan!
On your deconstruction, it was absolutely necessary. For new life to grow, often something old must be destroyed. It’s a natural process of cleansing, much like natural disasters (i.e. natural forest fires, volcanoes).
“Thus Something and Nothing produce each other; The difficult and the easy compliment each other; The long and the short off-set each other; The high and the low incline toward each other; Note and sound harmonize with each other; Before and after follow each other…” ~ Lau Tzu
One of the best piece of text I’ve read over these past months.
Bring on next week!
Holy crap! It’s as if I was listening to myself reading this post. Most of my life was spent this way as well.
Freeing myself from the corporate world (not there yet), questioning the establishment and societal norms. Thinking of myself as ‘different’ from everyone else or that nobody understands me.
In the end, these thoughts can be extremely isolating. What I finally realized is that I was taking the easy way out. It’s easy to complain about my job. It’s easy to complain about society. The hard part is actually looking within yourself to find the answers and change the situation.
Finally I started taking action. Right now the steps I’m taking are small and the learning curve is steep, but I’m just happy that I’m finally taking steps to achieve a more fulfilling life for myself.
Hey Jonathan,
If you focus on building, you’re drawing attention towards what you feel is positive while indirectly drawing away from what you don’t like.
However, if you focus on breaking down and critiquing what you hate, then you’re continuing drawing energy towards it. And even if you do break something down enough, what then? You don’t have a positive alternative path for you or others to take.
It’s ineffective to only criticize and break down. It IS effective to offer alternative solutions, which draw energy and attention away from what you dislike as a side-effect anyway.
I dig your attitude with this project. Keep on building,
Oleg
Excellent post,
All the thinking you have done on the subject makes the difference. Very insightful post, I think you hit a nerve in a lot of people.Too many people don’t really think today. Wherever you put your attention grows, if you focus on negative you get more negative, you know the rest.
This is amazing and kind of reminiscent of postmodernism. I like it. But nobody’s questioning the fact that nobody really can be genuine at anything or live a life deconstructing without being the slightest bit unhappy about it. Everything is constructed and everybody has just as much right to create their own. You’re lucky if you get in touch with people who share reconstructing deconstructed structures but the thing is, there’s no point to that, if one’s point is to feel happy deconstructing things. You just deconstructed wrong, my friend. That’s why you felt really alone. Nobody can blame the theory.
Great Article, Jonathan!
Heya jonothan!
I wish you much success with your new program, and I hope that it helps many people achieve what you have.
I think it is a natural part of the journey, the question, the breaking things down, but sometimes we indeed get stuck in that mode without realising that we actually want to build something up and live life the way we want it. It’s a matter of delicate balance, rejecting that which we do now want, but embracing the things we need to get the kind of life we do want!
Keep it up!
Cheers
Diggy