If you’re really interested in personal development, like I am, you’ve probably noticed that there are a lot of conflicting messages out there. While some of this may simply have to do with differing opinions and personality, a lot of these messages leave you scratching your head.
To make matters worse, most of this confusion results from people having completely different maps of reality. If you’re offering advice from the point of an innacurate paradigm, it won’t matter how rigorous your methods are.
For example, how do you reconcile the advice of persistence, hard work and striving to achieve goals with the call to live effortlessly and simply being in a state of flow? Aren’t these two ideas — that both seem like good advice — at odds with each other?
With that said, I’ve decided to do a series on Redefining Personal Development (cooler title pending, let me know if you have any ideas.)
I’ll be taking requests for topics to cover. If you have a question, put it below in the comments and I’ll make sure your question gets answered. If you feel internally divided because you’re getting conflicting messages (from yourself or otherwise), put the details in the comments and we’ll talk about it in the series.
Oh and if you still want to get Reclaim Your Dreams for 20% off, you’ve got 24 hours until the price goes back up. Just sayin’.
So what do you think is broken when it comes to self development? What do you struggle with reconciling?
(Almost forgot… one last thing: 2 days until paidtoexist’s 1 year Anniversary. Yes it’s on Valentine’s Day. Guess love is in the air.)
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38 Comments on "Time to Take Off the Broken Glasses"
Hey Jonathan, there are a lot of conflicting messages out there.
There was a great post by Steve Pavlina which covers the topic of Personal Development vs Being Content with where you are, so I recommend you check that out as it might give you some tips.
I look forward to the series!
Jonathon,
I struggle with the idea of being happy with what you have, and the opposing idea of striving for improvement. I realize that you should accept those things over which you have no control, but how can you determine when to be content, and when to seek change? Can these two concepts coexist?
Thanks,
Amanda
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. (credit Reinhold Niebuhr)
Jonathan,
I remember Alan Watts pondering this question of self-improvement. I think he said something like, “Just who is developing/improving whom?” I look forward to your thoughts on this.
Vaughn
It’s like Einstein said; the solution to any problem is at a higher level of thought than the problem.
I think it’s a very important issue. I actually called my site Live Without Conflict because I believe it is the need to resolve conflict that is the impetus for our evolution.
First I’d just like to say that this is an awesome topic to write a series on. I find myself conflicted in my everyday life. I want to be a yoga teacher, and the ideals of the yogic practice are anything but what I find people striving for around me. Perfection in the workplace is also a hard concept to deal with when I’ve learned in yoga that everything is “a practice, not a perfect”.
Jonathan /// Yes they are /// Be content with change.
Change is the most permanent aspect of life. Where there is life, there is change, Where there is change, there is life. It cannot be otherwise. Work with change.
cooperate with it or else it will leave you behind.
There is absolutely nothing in the universe that is changeless. nothing. This is the secret behind successful
relationships and you are never ever without a relationship. not only to other people but also between
yourself and every other thing and object in your life.
Celebrate change and it will make you successful.——- Doug
The basic problem is the attempt to define the self without an environment and the environment without an observer. Both these attempts are doomed to failure.
The self IS the contact of the person with their situation. (Consciousness IS consciousness of [something].)
For an extremely rigorous working through of this position see Perls, Hefferline and Goodman’s Gestalt Therapy. It changed my life and may change yours (if you take it seriously).
As George Constanza’s dad says, “SERENITY NOW!”…
I don’t think one can force personal development or self-improvement. One needs to be ready, and as they say “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Some articles on personal development ring truer than others, and I think my own interest in a particular subject/article mostly depends on what I’m ready for at the moment. So right now, in my own life, I’m more moved by articles about character development and how discovering my own personal mission in life determines my daily activities and goals (principles-based life management).
You will BE the answer.—–Doug
This is a very interesting theme, Jonathan!
The conflict I find most interesting is the one between personal development in terms of trying to change and better oneself, and the notion of letting go and accepting oneself as one is.
My sense is that the wish to be different from how we are shows a lack of self-acceptance and kindness.
In contrast, healthy self-acceptance leads to the aspiration that we want to reach our full potential – without discarding any part of ourselves.
A very worthy pursuit, Jonathan. Thank you.
The core value of many ‘methods’ and teachers out there is to make the teacher/method vital to the individual, when it should be liberating the individual (from teacher, method, etc).
A teacher should not give so much of self or knowledge, but give to the student their self.–Strike a Chord of Silence
blessings and continued inspiration,
CG
Jonathan, you have lots of comments about this conflict already and how it will both a challenge and something to look closer at. I’d agree that it’s about discovering the values one has in life in order to steer it towards abundance and happiness. I think there is one gap not covered much, and that is of the moral aspects of self improvement. It gets wrapped up in compassion sometimes but a moral look at life is one way to steer things well.
Anyway, looking forward to your thoughts on this as well.
Jonathan-
First, I appreciate your work on awareness and growth, and enjoy reading all of the missives . . . This feed is one of the first that I check from my homepage each morning.
My personal mental, physical, and spiritual ‘constant’ is to remind myself that there is a vast difference between: ‘a legitimate concern and worry’.
Seems simple.
Unfortunately, emotional attachment to the outcome gets in the way.
Keep up the good work . . .
Michael
You asked, “What do you struggle with reconciling?”
My answer, “How do I reconcile, ‘trying to make my thinking fit reality AND/OR trying to make reality fit my thinking’.”
i do agree with you
Hi!
It is not just easy to me to live to my expectations only. I always want to meet the expectation of others too, which are sometimes the opposite of mine or impossible to acheive. My mind is full of opposite wishes and dreams. How can I be strong and be concern of my own dreams and wishes only?
Thanks.
I would be interested in a piece about the paradox of being happy with what you have versus striving for more.
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