Money = Freedom?

Money = Freedom?

Editors Note: This is a guest post from Esme Gosling of EsmeGosling.com; Money Love, Money Smarts

I started to write a post about how money doesn’t matter, that we’re all free, and, therefore, money does not equal freedom. (To see my original post, click here .)

Screw that.

Freedom is about the money. You know the question: “What would you do if money were no object?” If you wouldn’t change a single thing in your life, you wouldn’t be here reading this post. Of course, money makes all of the difference: you’d get a different job or maybe no job; you’d pursue hobbies or volunteer; you would set the world on fire.

You know what you would do, don’t you? Something sprang to mind immediately, didn’t it? Something that can feel inside, and sometimes the pain of not doing it overwhelms you. Whatever your “it” is, that’s why you are here, you want more than anything to make that real.

But you don’t know how to do that without the money. You need the money first before you can pursue the other. Because that’s how it works in the real world, isn’t it? We don’t follow our dreams, we pay our bills; we do the responsible thing.

I might contradict myself here, but I call BS. That’s just a big, hairy excuse disguised as a socially acceptable cop out. Claiming money issues is just a way of hiding behind our fears.

What if your dream is to become a pilot but you can’t distinguish between your girlfriend and your mom at ten paces? You’ll get eye surgery without a second thought (your girlfriend will thank you too). What if you need to lose weight to get your blood pressure down? Call Weight Watchers. Even if you want to have children but you haven’t met anyone? Easy, peasy: sperm donor. There is absolutely nothing is impossible these days. (Yes, the caveat being nothing apart from what ten year old boys can imagine!)

We seem to have a different perspective when it comes to money. What if your dream is to go back to school to get a degree in parapsychology, your dream since childhood, but have no money? Oh, well, working as a parking attendant really isn’t that bad, and I get to read a lot on the job. What if you want to travel around the world in a sailboat but haven’t saved up three months worth of living expenses? Well, maybe one day…in the meantime, I’ll just watch America’s Cup on TV. You’re thinking about starting up your own business but haven’t had any luck with capital? The bank is probably right: these are tough times to start something up.

What is wrong with this mentality? Why is it that as soon as money is mentioned, people lose their fight? Because it’s not about the money; it’s about the fear. It’s about the fear because these are big dreams, huge dreams, dreams that matter so much that you don’t want them to fail. And you can’t fail if you don’t start. Voila: by listening to your money woes, you will never fail.

If you are waiting for the money first, you will be waiting a long time. If you have a dream, a passion, a calling, and you are not acting on it, you will never be successful at what you are currently doing because your heart isn’t in it. It can’t be. How does it make sense to make more money doing what you are doing now (but hating), so that one day you will be able to do what you love? That’s about as sensible as dieting for months so that you can pig out on your Mexican cruise (oh, wait, people do that…) or waiting until you are 65 to start living your life (hmm, ditto that). Enough already! It’s time to put your fears aside and do what you need to do, money be damned.

And, yes, I can say that but not because I don’t live in the real world and have an Internet provider who likes to be paid every month. Right now, I am sitting at home, writing this as my daughter has her afternoon nap, knowing that I will be here when she gets up and then I will switch back into mummy mode. I used to work as an accounting clerk, maybe like some of you, and it was killing me. I don’t even have a background in accounting, so not only did I hate the work, but I felt like a fraud at the same time. (Long story…) How bad is that? I left my job when I took maternity leave and knew that I would never go back. I didn’t know how, I just knew that I was tired of living in fear. I followed my passion and trained to become a life coach (helping people with their money issues, of course!) and don’t regret the choice I made. If anything, I wonder why I took so long. I did this all as a single mum with three kids and no financial backup plan. So don’t tell me that your money excuse is valid and mine wasn’t. I know what it’s like to taste the fear. And to choose to be free anyway.

 

What does freedom look like to you? What money excuse is standing in your way? And what are you going to do about it?

About the Author: Esme Gosling is a no-nonsense Money Coach who believes in helping others deal with their money issues so that they can kick butt and achieve awesome. To get real about your money issues, sign up for a free coaching session at www.esmegosling.com.

photo courtesy of: Robinn-GK

 

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Comment & Add Your Voice

Bojan011 April 12, 2012 at 6:04 am

The problem these days, that everyone wants to be the coach. To be the certain something that gives sorta value. In the end someone has to pay the bills. Somebody needs to create a product.
 
We are in a competitive market, but I am not aiming for the business of coaching, because if everyone was coaching, who would make my Apple gadgets ? :)

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 12, 2012 at 6:15 pm

 @Bojan011 I agree that we need products, but I think there is a lot of value in providing service also. I like a life that is centred around experiencing rather than acquiring. (Of course, I do love my iGadgets as much as the next person…)

AlexisNeely April 12, 2012 at 6:13 am

I have faced the fear of not enough money demon again and again. Each time I’ve discovered that I always get what I need when I’m on purpose. Here is an exercise that’s been helping me lately to really tap into what I really want to be and do beyond the money. For a short while do what you think you want to do for free (while making money doing something else) and see if you really do love what you think you want to do. i.e. would you really do it if money were not an issue? If so, drop everything and do it. And create a pricing/business model where you can get paid well for it. But only after you’ve done it for free for a while.

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 12, 2012 at 6:14 pm

 @AlexisNeely I think we have all faced that fear, and it’s a hard place to be in, isn’t it? Glad to hear that purpose gets you where you need to be!

Jeff - Digital Nomad Journey April 12, 2012 at 7:55 am

It’s all a matter of working toward your goal daily, putting the pieces in motion. You can read about your goals, take small actions, plan, save, grow.
 
If you can integrate as many nuances of your goal as possible, into your daily life, things will happen. A chain of events can take place leading towards a direction you never envisioned. If you combine this with “money” management, savings and prudence – it will happen! :)

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 12, 2012 at 6:13 pm

 @Jeff – Digital Nomad Journey So true, Jeff! Thanks for chiming in! And sometimes those daily steps are so small as to be imperceptible, but, as you said make it a daily practice and it will pay off in the end.

mllewis8 April 12, 2012 at 8:24 am

This is a really great story Esme, especially from your position as a single mother of 3, it just shows that when you make that decision to take control of your own life for the better, you really can find a way to make it work. Out of interest did you get business training to help you start-up? How long did it take you to train as a coach?
I think people tend to feel like somehow they are not ‘qualified’ or ‘experienced’ enough to make good money from their business idea.
People study for years for a degree that may never make them much money, yet others with no formal qualifications can become very successful.
I think sometimes we need ‘permission’ from others to know that we are good enough and qualified to do well on our own.
I must admit so many people of this success story have started coaching of some sort.
 
These blogs should generate some ideas for other self-employment success. The key is it does need to provide a decent income.
 
I would love to become a yoga teacher/therapist however I worry that it wouldn’t allow me a good enough income. You have to think commercially as well and about essentially where the bulk of your income is coming from!
 
 

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 12, 2012 at 6:11 pm

 @mllewis8 There are lots of people getting into coaching and blogging too – but hopefully it’s because they have a passion and not just see it as a quick buck because, in the long run, that just won’t work. Personally, I love coaching because there’s such a sense of possibility! I wish you all the best following your calling to become a yoga teacher / therapist. Put your fears aside for the moment and see where it can take you. We don’t always know where the end is when we are still on the starting line…
 
Good luck!

SylviaGautier April 13, 2012 at 1:10 am

That’s an empowering article Esme. I really like the change of perspective. It is true that people often use money as an excuse not to live their lives fully and not to make their dreams come true. They fear the lack of security and often choose to stay in their safe zone rather than challenge themselves and make things happen for them. Well done to you for choosing to live your passion. 

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 13, 2012 at 9:17 am

 @SylviaGautier Thank-you, and thanks to all those who dare! It makes the world a better place!

TempoLifeCoaching April 13, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Love this Esme!  Fantastic article with so much truth.  You call a spade a spade here.  I’m going to pass this along to a few people who are in this point in life…some frozen in fear, some pushing past it to get where they want to be.  Great job!!

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antistatusquo April 15, 2012 at 1:25 pm

You are exactly right. It is fear that keeps people in jobs they hate and keeps them from following their dreams. It has inspired me and hope it inspires others as well.
 
Thanks for the great post. I look forward to having a look at your blog.
 
Alex
 
 

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 15, 2012 at 5:52 pm

 @antistatusquo Thanks, Alex. I’d love to hear more about what inspires you!

BenjaminR April 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Freedom to me is first doing the thing I love, that doesn’t even feel like work, to grow at the same time.
 
But to also have the money to do all the things I want, go where I want, to take any seminars, courses or whatever that I want.
 
Freedom to heal myself, to go in my own direction and build the reality I want. Freedom to choose my own beliefs and programming instead of just accepting what i’ve been taught.
 
-Ben

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 17, 2012 at 5:07 pm

 @BenjaminR Beautiful!

BenjaminR April 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Freedom to me is first doing the thing I love, that doesn’t even feel like work, to grow at the same time.
 
But to also have the money to do all the things I want, go where I want, to take any seminars, courses or whatever that I want.
 
Freedom to heal myself, to go in my own direction and build the reality I want. Freedom to choose my own beliefs and programming instead of just accepting what i’ve been taught.
 
-Ben
 

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nochnoch April 18, 2012 at 1:43 am

too many people think “i don’t have time” or “i don’t have money”
then they will be mediocre for the rest of their lives and watch as others “make it”..
Noch Noch

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 18, 2012 at 9:04 am

 @nochnoch I actually was caught saying “I don’t have time” just the other day! But, really, it’s that we don’t have time for all of the lesser priorities and distractions, isn’t it? Without clear goals and prioritities, it does feel like there isn’t time. Thanks for that reminder that time is another big excuse that we all use!

ZenHarvests April 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

It really is about the fear. Whether you end up living on a modest income doing what you love, or becoming wealthy doing what you love, the biggest thing is to move past the fears around money. We need to learn how to be responsible to our dreams. That’s really where the ultimate responsibility lies. My current project is all about that. http://www.indiegogo.com/Nathanserves?c=home&a=509861  At the end of the day, the safety people believe is present from getting a steady paycheck isn’t even real. It could be gone tomorrow. And then what? Why give up your life to something that either makes you miserable, or that offers comfort in exchange for everything else you have to offer the world?

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

 @ZenHarvests I love what you are doing! You have moved past the fear and then some! I wonder if too many people just focus on the money, work so hard to achieve it, and then realize that they haven’t been happy along the way – so I like that you say that it isn’t about how much we have but chasing those dreams! Keep being the change that you want to see in the world!

Hiten Vyas April 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Hi Esme,

This was a very good post. It got me thinking that a life where we never went for what we wanted, is a life in my opinion that never reached its true potential. I hope that each of overcomes our individual fears, even it is to follow a single passion.

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

 @Hiten Vyas Thinking like that could transform our world!! Wouldn’t that be something to see?!?

barakrosenbloom April 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Great post!Think about the times when you’re most fulfilled. Isn’t there always effort involved?
 
Think about the most magical moments in your life. Aren’t they a surprise, flowing from uncertainty?
 
Yet how much do we try to avoid effort and eliminate uncertainty?
 
No money? Awesome! Go put effort into something you care about, without knowing how it will all go! 

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm

 @barakrosenbloom It is not often that you see “no money” and “awesome” next to each other like that! How refreshing! I love what you had to say: the magical moments flowing from uncertainty created a wonderful mental image. (I won’t tell you of what, but it was great!)
 
Thanks!

PureSignal April 21, 2012 at 7:34 am

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Peter Hall April 23, 2012 at 12:23 pm

It’s not money but what it represents to each of us that is the problem. For some it might be a lifestyle they don’t want to give up for others it’s the “what happens if my new venture doesn’t workout” fear. For the most cautious of us (that’s me!) we can use the financial resources we have in creative ways to make some space and opportunity to try something different. The trouble is different can be scary and the siren call of the safe job and regular salary beckons – even though it comes with mental torture (office politics, endless meetings, etc.). That’s why we need a group of cheer leaders perhaps more than a pot of gold if we’re going to succeed.

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 23, 2012 at 12:28 pm

 @Peter Hall Great point! That’s why online tribes like this one are so very important: they create a safe place where we can say “I’m scared, but – hell! – I’m doing it anyway!” And the people here understand and support that. I don’t know that we’re all coordinated with the pompoms, but we’re all here to cheer each other on! (;

Nicole Casanova.* Embodiment Educator April 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Thanks for your radical rebellious spirit, Esme! I appreciate that like gold.
Thanks for bringing in a fresh voice Jonathan. Id love to write a guest post for you sometime! So many exciting topics coursing through my being! Im an Embodiment Educator, and help people get access to their self-realization through connecting directly to the power and magic of their bodies. Maybe, How to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway? Or Activating Your Inner Warrior For Radical Action? ;)
Love XO
NicoleCasanova.com

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Nicole Casanova.* Embodiment Educator April 24, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Thanks for your radical rebellious spirit, Esme! I feel this is like gold.*
And thanks for bringing in a fresh voice, Jonathan. Love it!
I’d love to post for you sometime! I have a thousand juicy ideas rolling around my brain.
I’m an Embodiment Educator, helping people get access to their self-realization through the magic and power of their bodies! Woohoo! How about, Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway? Or, Activating Your Inner Warrior for Life Shifting Action?
Love XOXO

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

 @Nicole Casanova.* Embodiment Educator I love your energy! I’m feeling a buzz already!! (;

izmaelarkin April 25, 2012 at 10:24 pm

You say it how it is! I knew inside my head that money was often used as an excuse but until you put it (rather bluntly) that the real issue is fear I never truly was able to put it into words.
 
 

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Nicholas Mills October 1, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Great post! Was looking to read more about your stuff, but the links you provide don’t work. Not sure if the url link is invalid or something.
Might just be me, but just a heads up

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Erik Richvoldsen March 23, 2013 at 5:05 am

After starting my own business. I’ve realized a couple of things:

1. It’s hard to be creative and work on long term goals when you worry about the rent.

As other have mentioned above, start by taking small steps towards your goal. Don’t quit your day job and go all-in unless you have something up and running. It is difficult to focus even on productive tasks if you worry about money. You will start to focus too much on how to get by, and that will take the fun out of task you normally enjoy. Most successes are marathons, not sprints.

“First pay you rent, then create your art.”

2. There is a lot of value in having colleagues .

My business have started to make money, but I have realized that I do not want to work by myself. I miss having a place to go, and have friendly, familiar faces greet me each day. I am therefore going back to a job, at least part time, just to get a sense og belonging.

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ZenHarvests April 18, 2012 at 3:56 pm

 @Esme Gosling – Money Coach That is one of the challenges I think. Recognizing that money is a tool, and obviously quite useful, but not an end goal. I remember reading a memoir written by the mother of the singer Jewel. My own mother borrowed it to me. I can’t imagine having picked the book up myself. Anyway, she writes about both her own journey and Jewel’s journey and how it really wasn’t until they had plugged into their passions that things started to change for them. Money started coming in. The right people arrived at the right time. And so it goes. Perhaps if either of them had just been focused on being rich, they could have figured out a way. But more than anything, a sense of joy seemed to permeate that book, a joy that went way beyond dollars and cents. That’s what I’m working on in my own life. And thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it.

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm

 @ZenHarvests Totally! I try to get my coaching clients to the point where they see money as a tool, as you said, or, essentially, an energy (i.e. we put our energy into work, get money, we exchange that energy (or money) for something that others have put their energy into…Money should never be the goal.I, too, like to think that the right people are out there waiting for their perfect moments in all of our lives! (:

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PureSignal April 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

 @Esme Gosling – Money Coach  @Peter Hall I couldn’t agree more, thanks for this post Esme!
 
I recently decided to spend $10,000′s and 100′s of hours building iPhone apps, all because I was able to pump myself up to take the risk after reading posts like this and realizing that if I love it, it’s definitely worth a shot.

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

 @PureSignal My 12 year old is hoping to follow the very same path (creating apps) – but he still lives in the world where ANYTHING is possible! If only we could all live there! Of course, I’m sure it helps that the important peoople in his life believe the same thing for him… (I’m sure there’s a lesson in there for all of us!)Good luck – I’d love to hear what you’ve got in the works!

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PureSignal April 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

@Esme Gosling – Money Coach @PureSignal

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PureSignal April 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

@Esme Gosling – Money Coach That’s awesome! I love hearing about kids that get really into new technology, and it’s amazing seeing them interact with new touch devices…I watched my friend’s 2-year old watch YouTube videos the other day, and it blew me away!

I launched my first app, CalcForm, last month, and v2.0 should be released in a couple weeks. It’s a cool (okay, I’m a little biased) take on making mobile math easier.

I’m also making a guitar tuner since that’s one of my favorite things about having an iPhone…I can tune a guitar with something I always have with me (really comes in handy at parties).

The one I’m really excited about is a Goals & Progress Tracker that I’m hoping to finish by July. I’d love to get feedback from you, Jonathan, and the Illuminated Mind community as I get into development.

Thanks for your interest! Have a good night Esme…

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PureSignal April 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

 @Esme Gosling – Money Coach That’s awesome! I love hearing about kids that get really into new technology, and it’s amazing seeing them interact with new touch devices…I watched my friend’s 2-year old watch YouTube videos the other day, and it blew me away! I can only imagine how good your 12-year old is with gadgets compared to how things were when we were that age. :)
 
I launched my first app, CalcForm, last month, and v2.0 should be released in a couple weeks. It’s a cool (okay, I’m a little biased) take on making mobile math easier.
 
I’m also making a guitar tuner since that’s one of my favorite things about having an iPhone…I can tune a guitar with something I always have with me (really comes in handy at parties).
 
The one I’m really excited about is a Goals & Progress Tracker that I’m hoping to finish by July. I’d love to get feedback from you, Jonathan, and the Illuminated Mind community as I get into development.
 
Thanks so much for your interest! Have a good night Esme…

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Esme Gosling - Money Coach April 24, 2012 at 9:14 am

 @PureSignal Let me know when the Goals tracker is done! I keep looking for one that I like…Maybe yours will be the one!! (:

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PureSignal April 25, 2012 at 5:29 am

 @Esme Gosling – Money Coach Me too! That’s exactly why I’m making my own.
 
I’d love to hear what you would like to see in a goal tracker app.
 
Feel free to contact me at calcform.com to let me know what you’re looking for in an app like this. Have a great day!

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PureSignal April 25, 2012 at 5:30 am

@Esme Gosling – Money Coach
Me too! That’s exactly why I’m making my own.
 
I’d love to hear what you would like to see in a goal tracker app.
 
Feel free to contact me through calcform.com to let me know what you’re looking for in an app like this. Have a great day!

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