Confession: I Want You to Like Me

Yes, it’s true.

I want you to like my stuff.

I want you to think I’m cool.

I want to be accepted by the tribe.

I want to be heard, to be seen, to matter.

I want to be included, loved and admired.

I want to inspire others and have an audience that anticipates the things that I say and share.

In the past I’ve acted like I don’t care. But I do care. I care a lot.

I used to think that it wasn’t healthy or good to want to be liked, or to want attention. That you should rise above and transcend this lowly human defect.

But the truth is that it’s a basic human desire and need. It’s healthy, especially when you love and accept yourself first.

So, I accept my humanness, I accept that hunger for acceptance and recognition.

I wish I could say that I’m not attached to it. I’m not there yet. I check Facebook and Instagram for likes in the hopes that I am validated just as much as you do.

I don’t want this to drive my behavior, always. I desire to serve and give from my heart, and trust that I will be seen and appreciated as a result. That’s the place I most truly want to operate from.

I don’t think it’s good or healthy to try to kill your desire to be liked and seen. But it should be subordinated by your deeper desires to serve and grow.

I aim to show up more in that space.

But for now, I’d rather be real…

I want you to like me.

PS: I would feel more validated if you left a comment to show that you liked this.

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59 Comments on "Confession: I Want You to Like Me"

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Lois Nason
Guest

I like you. I like how you write. I like how you give me inspiration to do those things that just need to be put into reality. I like your honesty. I like your photos, too. Sorry, but if I’m being real…that’s that. I wonder what happen if I sent this to my friends?…hell, let me find out.

Clara
Guest

:) excellent idea

John
Guest

I liked it.

Clara
Guest

Thank you for keeping it real, Jonathan. :)
I like you (and your wife) a whole lot. You guys are inspiring, amazing, fantastic people. Lots of love from Hamburg, Germany. xx

Andrew Shell
Guest

I think it’s okay to want to be liked. As long as you keep being a cool, honest, helpful guy you shouldn’t have a problem finding people that like you. There will always be haters, but I’ve found that the haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves.

Nick
Guest

Thanks for being real. lol I struggle with this a lot myself. Same idea, that I shouldn’t care what others think of me so much, but ever since I was a kid I’ve loved to perform in front of others for their “approval” I guess. Learned along the way though most ppl are just waiting for you to fall so they can laugh. At least in high school… lol Hopefully the worlds matured a bit since then… but I doubt it. I just finally got sick of everyone.

Shandra
Guest

Jonathan, part of your influence in my life is the whole idea that I need to be more of myself, and I need to be myself more. I have a business called ‘Renegade Leadership’, but in reality I’m not as much of a renegade as I’d like to think I am. I want to do and be different than the general masses, so that I can make a difference. You are helping me remain aware of this desire in my life.

I do like you!:)

Lexi
Guest
Here is a comment showing you that I like this. I like most of what you write. I don’t know you in person, so I don’t know if I actually “like” you or not, but from what you write, I am quite certain we’d get along great in the “real” world if we ever met. I’ll admit, sometimes I think you’re kind of a dick, which is usually JUST what I need at the time. I don’t need another kissass telling me it’ll all be fine if I wish hard enough. I need someone, like you, to say, “hey, get… Read more »
Jeremy
Guest

This breaks my heart open in the best of ways. It’s just TRUE.

But at the same time, emphasis goes a long way: I want you to like ME. Not some bizarre caricature concocted from assembled status updates and photos that are filtered only to show the fun, bright, shiny parts of my life. I want you to like ME–and I’m complex. Sorry, but that’s true too. :)

Fonzi Brownwood
Guest
I read a thing in a book one time. And by one time, I mean just last night. I’d read it before, but I re-read it from time to time because I think it’s important. Important to me. Who fucking cares if it’s important to someone else. It’s about defining your sovereignty, that line in the sand where you’re not willing to compromise your work. For money, fame, recognition, to be liked, whatever. Because when you start crossing that line, you start losing yourself, and your work suffers. I don’t like to suffer. You probably don’t either. I can’t think… Read more »
Carla Giampapa
Guest

I like you. I like me, too. :) I appreciate your refreshing voice that seems to always say what’s so for you. Your words have reached me deeply on several occasions and this is no exception…in fact, it was perfect timing…this is something I’ve been wrestling with myself lately. Thank you for sharing and putting it so plainly…no frills. Perfect.

Kevin Conor Keller
Guest
I believe is there is a huge difference between the desire to be idolized and the desire for you/your work to have an impact on others, with the intention of improving the human existence one person at a time. Social networking has a way of forcing the desire to be idolized versus being identified with (idolization vs identification). Those that recognize the difference are the difference. Personally, not having any social networking desires at all has helped me more than anything else. Without the need for validation I have no desire to prove how great/amazing/whatever my work is, and instead… Read more »
Jennifer K Powell
Guest

Thanks for the honesty. We are all seeking affirmation in some way. Keep on keepin’ it real here.

Misha
Guest
Jonathan- I love the magnificent human being you are. You’ve been my impromptu older brother, dispenser of wisdom and representation of what being a real man is, since I google searched life purpose back in high school, took the red pill and stumbled onto illuminated mind. This post has spoken such deep truths and peeled away a large layer of isolation I used to feel. Without boring you with details, I was bullied all throughout school- whether it was for being skinny, into the wrong music as a black person…that unspoken tinge of ostracism weighed on my mind and colored… Read more »
Carl P.
Guest

“They like me! They REALLY like me!”

Ti
Guest

How lovely to say it out loud. Yes. I like you. I like that heart on your sleeve and that determination and truth spinning through your cells. We want to be liked and that’s a fine thing.

Sam
Guest

I like you Jonathan. I’m excited for your new venture with Heroic Trading Co and JonathanMead.com

Tammy
Guest

Jonathan- I am living on the most beautiful lake in the world, thanks to your inspiration!

Tamas Kalman
Guest

…still coming down from the weekend party? =)

Katie
Guest

Jonathan, if someone doesn’t like you, they’re just projecting. You and all you create inspire me, and I’m so thankful for you! And…yes, you’re very cool. :-)

Niki
Guest

You are liked and appreciated. Even if, most of the time, some of us are on the quiet side. We do think you’re cool :)

Jayde
Guest

I look forward to reading your posts and seeing what you have to say on FB! I was really glad I got a chance to shake your hand at Pioneer Nation (is it too ego-inflating for you to say that was one of my two big goals for Pioneer Nation? They were to meet you & Chris Brogan. I accomplished both!), although I’d’ve loved to have had a chance to chat more!

Kyle
Guest

I completely understand the desire to be liked and to want others to respect and admire you. I feel ya’

Akhilesh
Guest

You are doing one of the best things anyone could dream to do… You should be proud, and there is no reason not to like you……:)

Ian
Guest

It is nice to be honest. To say what it is we really want and say it out to the world rather than pretend that we just don’t care but inside it is just tearing us apart. It makes us better as a person and hopefully results in the improvement of ourselves and society in general. Thank you for your inspiration, I look up to your newsletter everyday.

Frances
Guest
I like you Jonathan. I like that you are real. I like that you speak the truth of where you are and from where you. I like the fact that you put yourself out there and seek to grow and share more of yourself with the world. I like the brand that you portray consistently through all your stuff a brand that I think is rooted in your personality. I like, well, love your work. It is inspirational and packed with value. I think we all want to be liked. Actually i think we all want to be loved. We… Read more »
Sebastian Aiden Daniels
Guest

I like you man. I agree that it is a basic human desire. We all wanted to be loved and liked lets not deny it. I feel that all bloggers check their facebook stats and their page views and probably wish they had more. Thanks for being open and vulnerable with this post.

You’re kind of cool ; P.

Maryn
Guest

Like! We all try to be cool and act like we don’t care most of the time, but it’s important to be a fan and show people you like what they’re doing. I like what you’re doing. It is a vulnerable thing to be a fan, but really, who doesn’t love a fan, a compliment, a high five?

Anna
Guest

Thank you for writing this! I’ve been fighting myself for so long on this issue – telling myself that I NEED to transcend wanting to be loved and admired, that I should be “better than that”. I don’t need to, actually. I’m totally human and that is totally fine!!

I had just written in my notebook before I read this post: “I am not a saint. I am a human woman with needs, feelings, strengths, weaknesses, quirks, gut reactions and mess. I am allowed to be messy. I am allowed to not have it all together.”

Marc
Guest

I like you, dude. I totally get where you’re coming from. Sometimes I feel so desperate for likes on social media but the fact is is that we do like getting positive feedback and attention. Anyway, even if it doesn’t seem like it just remember that we are all more loved than we know!

Tina
Guest

Thanks for your transparency and authenticity. In our world today that is a rare and courageous thing. I love your work, your ‘voice’ and your energy. Keep on keeping on and blaze the trail. :)

kenny
Guest
By pleading (that’s how it comes across) “like me, like me, like me” a few thoughts have crossed my mind: 1. You are exhibiting your narcissistic side, your ego is either under or over inflated, and your low self esteem has cropped up. A turn off. 2. Your self worth needs to be evaluated and validated by YOU…not Facebook or Instagram. And, if you do receive “likes”, they should be voluntary, not pleaded or begged for. 3. You state: “I desire to serve and give from my heart, and trust that I will be seen and appreciated as a result.… Read more »
Cedric
Admin
Kenny, I do my best to live from that place of trust. But I also admit that I am human and have insecurities and not-admirable or impressive traits. I was merely trying to be transparent about that, while also saying that I aim every day to liver from a deeper motive. I wasn’t pleading for everyone to like me, I was admitting that I want to be liked. The PS: was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek and humorous. Again, I do my best to write from my heart and expect nothing, as you advised I should do. But can you say… Read more »
Lalala
Guest

I like this! Not enough to give you my e-mail, but I really do. I feel that my opinions (that seeking attention is a natural human thing and is definitely not unhealthy) are validated when reading this, and I got a few new insights from it, too. Thanks for writing it!

Maria Mar
Guest
You know what, Jonathan, I LIKE YOU!!!! I like your voice and your honesty, like everyone here said. So let it in, beautiful soul, cause it’s a consensus. WE LIKE YOU! I hear you. Welcome to humanity. What I’ve discovered in my healing journey is that many of the things that we see as imperfections, weaknesses or blunders are in reality the “Imperfect Stitch” that creates the masterpiece. If we wouldn’t want to be liked, perhaps we would not be writers, or have a blog, do you see what I mean? I was ran out of gas and had the… Read more »
Cherry
Guest

This is darn honest, Jonathan :) I like it and I like you dude.

cici
Guest

like very much

Samantha
Guest
Yes, the desire to be liked is natural, but this desire is put into sharp relief when our business models are based on a very personal model of persuasion. To choose the career path of a life couch, I imagine, would subject you to more pressure to be liked than most because it’s your responsibility to market yourself as a likable person in order to persuade people that you’re a trustworthy sinkhole for some of their money. Most entrepreneurial endeavors are like this to the extent that they require some genuine human chemistry for a transaction to happen, as in… Read more »
Cedric
Admin

I totally get it Samantha. I expected this message to trigger a lot of people. I expected there to be a lot of mixed responses.

In saying, I want you to like me, I want you to buy my stuff, I was attempting to just be completely honest and transparent. I hope that that was the message that came across for most people.

Annie Andre
Guest

I liked it and i want you to like me so i am commenting to be seen! :)

Jallal
Guest

One of the hard ways to attract attention is being honest and humaine. It’s not easy to drop down to that leve publicly only tobe recognised. I think I like you now more. Good work, good wirting and I think you are just born to win.
GOOD LUCK!

Michele
Guest

I like you to lol. I absolutely love how your posts are exactly what I need to hear lately and I look forward to them. I am grateful for you and them.

Lilli H
Guest

I think you are great! I’m always waiting for your next post. You have sone really incredibly inspiring things to say. Thank you!

I also don’t like not being liked. Though, I’m so worried that I won’t get “likes” or a positive response that it often prevents me from even posting on Facebook, commenting on my favourite blogs or even adding my voice in real-life group conversations.

I know it’s a flaw of mine. Something I’ve decided to work on, hence this comment!

Alysa
Guest

Raw and real. Just the way we like your posts.

Maxine
Guest

In the uk we are bought up not to like ourselves, our media can be negative and wo betide us if we big ourselves up!! We are not conditioned to seek approval. It’s so refreshing to hear someone admit that they need to and want to be liked!! Well done!

M. Catlett
Guest

I liked this, and applaud this call to honesty. It’s easy to get lost in a dreamland of artificial ideals; this is a whisper back home.

Menix
Guest
Dear Jonathan, (WARNING: This comment is a bit long, because I am providing a context.) Hi, I am Menix, 28 years old, a single parent with two kids. I have struggled with low self-esteem since childhood, and I’ve gone through really bad times (due to bad decisions) in my life. Although I am an intelligent person (I got to attend college in a top university in our country) and a multi-talented one for that matter, I was always under-accomplishing due to my lack of self-esteem. I rarely felt genuinely good about myself, because there was always a voice inside my… Read more »
Cedric
Admin

Thanks for your honesty Menix. Yes, I do think it’s an obstruction for me. It often gets in the way of me just creating from my heart with no expectations. That’s why I mentioned that I do my best to subordinate the desire to be liked to my deeper desire of wanting to serve and be useful.

It’s a process. :)

R Crayton
Guest

I LIKE YOU! I LIKE THE WAY YOU BREAK DOWN A SUBJECT. I LIKE YOU REALLY I DO!!
STAY HONEST — STAY SINCERE, AND YES I AM YELLING!!!

Robin
Guest

I like you. I like your ideas. To be real I also want to be liked for what I offer. Sometimes I don’t offer for fear of not being liked. You inspire me to go for broke.

Amber K
Guest

I like you. Very much.
Keep being you!

Erika
Guest

Yep. I like you. And you inspire me to follow my own path. And you ARE real, fellow human being in a weird world. (from a painting, engine building, cigarette smoking yogini)

Erica
Guest

I really liked this post. There is such honesty here, and I admire that you put it out there, saying what so many of us are thinking. There is something freeing in admitting though you do not want to always be this way, you are in this space now. That’s really owning the present:)

And it took major balls to immortalize it in words and then publish it…

You just won a new supporter:)

Erica

Art
Guest

I get it. I want so much to be loved. I think the only way to get love is to give love. Yet I routinely forget to give my love, my time and resources to others.

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