Being Vulnerable (not an ordinary post)

Most articles are conventional and safe. This is not one of them.

I want to share with you something that most people shy away from talking about.

The reason is, I’m two weeks into my twenty sixth year on this beautiful place called earth, and one of my goals is to be more transparent and open with everything in my life.

And a big part of that is doing that in this space, right here.

Here it goes…

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in the last year is approaching my work from a place of love and expansion, in the present moment. I often get caught up in what I need to do or in the things I haven’t done yet.

I have a lot of judgment around what I think I should have done each day, week, or year. I look at where I am and wonder why I’m not there. I feel like I can always do better. I feel like I can always be working harder or doing more. It creates a lot of guilt, and frankly, I’m ready to release it.

After all, doing what you love is something that I teach other people. If you’re judging yourself based on what you haven’t done, it’s hard to experience a lot of love. I think I heard someone say once that what you help others with is what you often need the most. I think I can relate to that.

In that spirit, what I’m really trying to realize is that we are all exactly where we need to be, regardless of where we want to go, or where we think we “should” be by now.

I’m also not proud of the fact that I’ve often compared myself to my peers in the past.

It’s hard not to look at a product launch of one of your peers and wonder why yours didn’t go as earth-shatteringly well (even when it did better than you expected based on your past successes). Sometimes you wonder why your competitors got that speaking engagement, or that publisher, or that many more followers than you on Twitter.

It seems petty, but I admit that I do this sometimes, and it’s a work in progress.

This is something that I don’t think enough entrepreneurs, leaders and bloggers talk about. We bellow and roar about what awesome goals we have, and how we should all be doing epic things. We cheer each other on. And I think that’s great and absolutely necessary. But I think it’s easy to avoid talking about the real challenges and struggles we have on a daily basis.

I want to be more transparent about my challenges to inspire or encourage others. At the very least, it’s therapeutic for me to be open and vulnerable with this stuff. Even if it doesn’t make me look like a badass, I can live with that.

So this year I’m making a major effort to be more in this moment, to really enjoy, acknowledge and appreciate where I am right now. I want to be more proud of the great things that I’ve done, and look to what I want to do with anticipation and excitement, not judgment about what I have yet to do.

I think like a lot of people, I look to the summit to see what I want to accomplish, and neglect to look behind at how far I’ve come.

Here are a few of the accomplishments I haven’t celebrated enough:

  • Launched Trailblazer, our flagship product, which has resulted in amazing success stories and an incredible community. Each time we sold out the course, and it’s become incredibly apparent how much this message and training is needed in the world.
  • Moved from “by the hour” coaching to working with people for six months or more at a time.  Out of the seven I took on this year, five have quit their jobs and the others are on track to do the same soon. They’re building remarkable businesses. I’m incredibly grateful for the people I get to work with and mentor.
  • Hired our first employees! We’ve moved from a husband and wife team to bringing other people into our work. Adrianne is our new customer happiness ambassador, and Megan is our new project wrangling emissary. Both have been amazing additions, and we’re incredibly grateful to have them as part of our growing team.

One thing I’ve learned in the past year is that it’s important to acknowledge your successes, celebrate them, and not get caught up in what others have done.

So here’s another really vulnerable admission…

There’s one *really big* goal that I have for this coming year. It involves something that scares me to death, and it’s bigger than anything I’ve ever done.

People have been asking me for this for a long time, and it’s something I’ve thought about doing, but was never quite sure I wanted to, or if it would even work.

But, I’m seriously considering taking this on, even though it will involve a ton of work, and will require me to give more than I ever have. It will also mean that I’ll have to be more transparent and vulnerable than I ever have.

When I do this, I’m going to need your help.

… And in the next post, I’ll share what that is. Stay tuned. :)

PS: Until then, I’d love to know what you think about this whole vulnerability/judgment thing.

Do you ever judge yourself for not being where you want to be? Am I the only one that does this?

Sharing is caring!

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118 Comments on "Being Vulnerable (not an ordinary post)"

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DanielMWood
Guest
Behind the computer screen it is so easy to be garded. Thank you for sharing your petty little thoughts and your dreams. I have the same feelings you do; why did they hire him and not me or how did she get that done and not me or why does that cool blogger mention those other bloggers and not me?! Luckily though I think the same people are thinking the same thing about us ;) Congratulations on your product launch, your first employees and that move in coaching, those are some incredible changes. Drink a glass of champaigne tonight from… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@DanielMWood You’re right, it’s really easy to portray yourself as a different person on the web than in real life. I think we all do this to a certain extent, even in real life. But transparency and openness is definitely something worth aiming for.

barrettallenbrooks
Guest
I couldn’t agree more. It is so easy to look at what others are doing and compare our own successes and failures. After all, the accomplishments of others are much easier to track ourselves against… Because the alternative is to measure our progress against our potential, which is incredibly intangible. I admire your effort to be in the moment going forward. I too struggle with being in the moment as opposed to looking ahead and thinking about everything I need to get done. I hope you’ll keep us up to date with how you are able to be in the… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@barrettallenbrooks It’s something I’m really trying to get better at. It may sound a bit cheesy (because it was on Oprah?) but The Power of Now has been really transformative for me. It’s one of those rare books that I find myself reading over and over.

ProcrastWriter
Guest
I am right there with you on this one. I am always judging myself and my work. I’m always finishing one thing and moving onto the next without ever taking a minute to appreciate what I just finished. For one–I launched my very first virtual workshop in September and had 5 spots to fill. I filled 3 of them before the workshop even went public (my newsletter list gets first dibs) and then I filled the final two spots a few days after it went public. HUGE accomplishment for me and HUGE push out of my comfort zone, since I’d… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@ProcrastWriter Really glad to hear that you’re doing this, and good to know I’m not the only one.

rewirebusiness
Guest

Hey Jonathan…I found that since I started writing, the best thing I could do was be 100% open and vulnerable in front of others. I have written about personal things that I haven’t seen many other blogs even touch…but connecting on a heartfelt level and showing that I’m purely a human and not a roaring success or a launch or a bunch of words, really makes me feel like I connected in the moment with others. It’s hard to explain actually…..but it feels better to me :)

NeonPaul
Guest

This is such a breath of fresh air Jonathan! I had suspected many of the people I look up to do have moments like this but of course it’s not the sort of thing that’s very easy to talk about is it?

Which is a shame because a bit of honesty and humility can really help some people connect to your message sometimes.

But yes, I’m doing this constantly – definitely time to step back and celebrate my successes for a change!

JonathanMead
Guest

@NeonPaul You’re right. There are a few leaders I admire that are very good at this. But they are the few. I think we’d benefit from more of this. Not that I’m great at it or anything. Frankly, I suck at this sort of thing. But I acknowledge it.

GeorgeDonnelly
Guest

In this aggressive society, it is only normal to have such thoughts. It is what you do with them that matters IMHO. I see some people rocketing to success only to flame our or not really help anybody. Slow and steady wins the race. Just the things you mentioned here make it sound like you are kicking ass. Kudos!

JonathanMead
Guest

@GeorgeDonnelly I definitely think agression has a lot to do with it. Maybe we need to just chill the fuck out more often.

GeorgeDonnelly
Guest

When I get that way I try to remember all the goals I have achieved in life already, take comfort in that and be grateful for that. I think humility is an important quality for success.

sethleonard.com
Guest

It’s always funny when you (I) see someone who is where you want to be (you) say that they want to be where someone else is. Thanks for sharing, Jonathan. I look forward to what comes next.

JonathanMead
Guest

@seth.leonard Ha, it’s so true Seth. Funny how that works.

Lynn Fang
Guest
Thanks for opening this discussion. I feel it’s been missing from the general conversation. A more honest look into the ups and downs of this journey is what’s really needed. Otherwise, it’s false to readers who will come to think everything is up and great all the time. I’m trying to cultivate a sense of gratitude for all the progress I’ve made, even if I wish it was further along. It’s hard to keep perspective when you need to launch yourself to financial sustainability. I’ve decided to be much more open in my writing, really pushing to express what my… Read more »
pocketparamedic
Guest

Ah, how I sympathize with this.

As an artist and creative person, I can’t tell you how many pursuits I’ve stopped working on because someone was “better than I’d ever be” at the same thing.

The same thing happens all the time to be in the realm of business.

I wish I could share more, but my fingers are screaming at me to stop typing. :) Mandolin practice is tough.

JonathanMead
Guest

@pocketparamedic I can relate. Sometimes I feel like I have so much electricity in my fingers it hurts. ;)

denisesmedley
Guest

Yes, all the time. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my career and personal life, so yeah… I expected myself to be at a different place in my life.

Your vulnerability is a good thing, IMHO. Witnessing successful people struggle with the same things that everyone else does makes you realize that we’re all coming from the same place, so success is possible for anybody if you want it bad enough.

Thanks for sharing this :)

spiritsentient
Guest
This has been a hot topic recently. Copyblogger’s Internet Marketing For Smart People just put out something about authenticity and liked back to the Feel Good Naked piece. My rapper-friend ‘Famous’ is making a video series to document his journey to fame. It’s called Road To Center Stage and I feel it matches what you’re about here. For myself, I see it all as an attitude. If you’re willing to share, whatever you feel called to share, when you feel called to share it, with a focus on providing value for yourself and others, you can’t go wrong. Some people… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@spiritsentient That’s really cool. I think that this is something that people are struggling with a lot, and I’m glad that other people are talking about it too. Welcome to the conversation man.

KenJensen
Guest

This is good to see. I’ve felt all the same things and I’ve come to the same conclusion. I got tired of trying to appear a certain way in order to achieve it. Posturing, I was taught that is. I get the point but it’s too demanding to always be posturing. I’d rather just be me. Authentic. I am working on it too. Great post!

JonathanMead
Guest

@KenJensen Yeah, I’d rather feel good because it’s the way I actually feel. I understand the “fake it till you make it” mentality, but what if you could just feel good… because you wanted to?

LoraleeHutton
Guest
Do I judge myself? Absolutely. Wish I could stop completely, but I suspect this will be a ‘life practice’ instead of something I’ll just stop doing entirely. You mentioned, “I think I heard someone say once that what you help others with is what you often need the most. I think I can relate to that.” I love this sentiment & have also heard it said like this. “You teach what you need to learn”. So, when I find myself creating a new product, program or experience for my tribe, I ask myself, “What am I seeking to learn from… Read more »
meganever
Guest

Thanks for this post, Jonathan. Me too. If I harnessed all the time and energy I expend judging my self and my work so harshly imagine what I could have accomplished!! Reminds me of the joke, “The whippings will continue until morale improves.” I’ve known this for a long time and I’ve tried everything – but it was just a few days ago that I realized I’d finally broken through to periods of simply loving what I’m doing :)

JonathanMead
Guest

@meganever I’m sooooo happy to hear that Megan! You are awesome, and I’m so grateful to work with you.

laurakr
Guest
I was thinking yesterday about how once you get what you want it’s not exciting anymore – I don’t think that’s a bad thing if you’re aware of it and looking at it as a game. For me I always want to move into better and better houses, but once I’m in the house it’s not really any different from the old house. We always get used to our new reality, and that’s just how it works. So I don’t think I need to appreciate my new house MORE, I just have to recognize that this will happen and not… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@laurakr That’s a good way to look at it Laura. Games are a lot more fun, even when you get caught up in them.

JeffMunn
Guest
One of the biggest obstacles that I run into is exactly what you mention here. That there is a destination, this place called “Success,” and that we’ll all recognize it when we get there. So far as I can tell, there’s only the process of creation, and it’s full of doubt and fear and yet we’re compelled to do it anyway. I can’t remember who said it, but I think we know we’re coming from our calling when we do it no matter what, and we can withstand the slings and arrows (or the silence and indifference) along the way.… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@JeffMunn Yeah… good point. Is success a destination?

JudyMeades
Guest
Ever notice a bunch of marathon runners after a marathon. Racing to the results board to it can tell them if they did okay or not. Competition and comparison are rapid in our society in everything from art to sport and business because they are used as the motivators. Kudos to you for seeing what is really going on with you and doing something about it. In the end we are all just sponges that can absorb any type of energy so it is easy and normal to find behaviors in ourselves that we don’t like in others. Awareness is… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@JudyMeades That’s a good point. I used to be like that a lot when I was running regularly. Eventually I stopped trying to go for better times and just focused on enjoying my running. Sometimes it meant I ran a lot slower, sometimes much faster. But I always had more fun.

JonathanMead
Guest

@JudyMeades That’s a good point. I used to be like that a lot when I was running regularly. Eventually I stopped trying to go for better times and just focused on enjoying my running. Sometimes it meant I ran a lot slower, sometimes much faster. But I always had more fun.

gunsinger
Guest

hell yes, i judge myself for not being where i am “supposed” to be! it was so crippling at some points that i needed to create a 30-day “reboot” program for myself where i focused on the ways i ALREADY am the person i am becoming and that experiment was the the impetus for starting my personal blog. http://thelivingdreamboard.com/challenges/the-challenge/ going through the process was a great celebration of what is, and minimized the focus on what isn’t yet.

ChaoticKatieP
Guest

Being vulnerable is offering yourself to another not knowing if they will keep you safe or wound you. Those of us here will cradle you heart in our hands and never let it fall. Your gift to the world is treasured by those you have already helped. I can’t wait to see where your muse leads you next.

JonathanMead
Guest

@ChaoticKatieP Thanks Katie, I’m really excited about what’s coming. Straddling the line between excitement for the next switchback on the path, and being here now.

Yemoonyah
Guest

yeah, I judge and criticise myself too. This whole last month I’ve been struggling with this exact same issue. But then I realized how far I have actually come this year. From being on social welfare to running a profitable business and traveling full time. See, when I write it down it actually sounds like a pretty big accomplishment! So thanks for reminding us not to be so harsh on ourselves :-)

Timmy Deleu
Guest

I’ve done it many times and still do it. Sometimes I get lost in thoughts and I find it hard to get back into the now. But hey I’m making progress and that’s how it should be.

heatherlp
Guest

You’re not alone. I keep reminding myself to enjoy the journey. I read somewhere that if we do not celebrate our successes they will fade from our lives. On reflection, I have actually accomplished a lot.

JonathanMead
Guest

@heatherlp That’s a good point. They’ll always be fading, never acknowledged. That’s a shitty way to live.

FullExpression
Guest
Releasing the conditioning of how we ‘should be’ or where we ‘should be’ so we can actually feel connected and present in life now. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing more of your experience. Here’s a poem that connects to the subject…always feeling like we need to prepare for something else: Preparing The ingrained sense of preparing For what? The next thing Always the next thing Achieving mastery then moving on Always preparing for the next thing until… Finally events come that are what we think we’ve been preparing for We feel the high of arriving A moment of achievement… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@FullExpression I really like that. Who is it by?

FullExpression
Guest

@JonathanMead I wrote it (Christine Yole). I have a whole series called, “Grounding the Light.” If you’re interested I can send them to you. The other collection is called, “Poems to Inspire Life in Full Expression.”

cara_stein
Guest
Sure, I judge myself for not being where I want to be. I’ve gotten a lot better about it, though. In the beginning, the end goal seemed impossibly far away–it’s a quote from your book that helped me get through that. (“If you only do two things–take consistent action and lose your fear of failure–you’ll already have a 95% chance of success.” from Reclaim Your Dreams. This keeps coming up–I’ve been quoting this all over the place these past few days.) Now that I have some accomplishments to look back on, the gap between where I am and where I… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@cara_steinjengresham Crazy how we reach a goal and think… this it! The end! And then we set up new things to worry about. I’m wondering if it’s not any attainment of something, but rather a breakthrough that happens now.

And I *love* that post by Jen. Thanks for reminding me of it.

JenGresham
Guest

@JonathanMead @cara_stein Thanks you guys! I struggle with this too of course. It’s why I think it’s so vital to have a formal, *personal* definition of success to look at and remind yourself what the end goal really is. Maybe success is building a business whe spending weekends with your family. Maybe it’s simply being courageous. When we feel jealousy, I think we’re getting caught up in someone else’s definition. Enough philosophy though. Keep shining, Jonathan!

sunagape
Guest

Every day. Thank you for saying this out loud. I have been teaching people for years to “be there,” and I do it well, but every day I notice that I am judging my progress less than kindly, looking for the failing within that “needs work”, speaking to myself in such a way that I would send me packing if I could. It’s a big part of why I am here. I want a community where we can say what it is we fear, and stand by each other as we face it down and celebrate.

JonathanMead
Guest

@sunagape Thanks for helping create that community right here.

tchapman27
Guest
Jonathan – You are so amazing!!! Whenever I tell anybody about you I always say that you are so smart, inspiring, knowledgeable, and accomplished & you’re only 26!!! (I actually started saying that when you were only 24). I think it’s awesome that you are sharing this vulnerability so many of us do feel – and you’re right, we need to celebrate who we are and what we’ve already accomplished today. As you probably remember from our coaching sessions, I often had trouble feeling good about all I have already accomplished and all that I am (mother, entreprenuer, paddleboarder, supportive… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@tchapman27 You’re too sweet Tracy. And yes! We must have that beer! Immediately!

lotzacolours
Guest
Jonathan. Of course I judge myself. Am I not enough? Am I too much? How can I make a difference? How can I do more? Less? How can I get my business going without hurting my family? How is it that I have fallen off track? How is it that I get easily manipulated? How is it that I am not good enough. Feeling vulnerable is one thing—not have resources and support to help you with that vulnerability is another. I have a wonderful husband that lets me be vulnerable but allows me to come to my own conclusions. I… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@lotzacolours Thanks for helping me create this space. I think it’s something important that we often neglect. I’m learning a lot from my wife when it comes to this.

mjcwriter
Guest

as creatives, we have that romantic mind and soul which is fun and fleeting and freeing. yet, it is also like a big spotlight on our shortcomings, fears and anxieties. that’s how we know we truly care for something/someone – if we judge our involvement and progress. just by opening up, you’ve taken a step. and have given the rest of chickens permission to follow! can’t wait to hear the big announcement!

JonathanMead
Guest

@mjcwriter I love that you related this to chickens. Look out for my post on Thursday, where I’ll reveal the big scary thing.

bellavie92
Guest

I relate to this. I’ll compare myself to the ideal people that are living the life they love and traveling. I’m still working and enjoying what I do… But you are right. It’s better to be coming from a place of “nowness” rather than idealizing the future and our peers. Thank you for this post on vulnerability. It just makes the people we admire look more human.

MaryFaulkner
Guest

Becoming vulnerable is the best way to catapult you to your next greatest endeavor. You free yourself of any old thinking that may not be in your best interest and by expressing it you release it. And sometimes it is scary but you know what they say, do what you fear. thank you

JonathanMead
Guest

@MaryFaulkner You know, I never quite thought about it that way, but you’re right Mary. I’m going to keep that in mind from now on.

ilinas
Guest

You may be interested in listening to this story… It’s about the trap of always feeling not good enough no matter how much success we achieve – and a pretty interesting solution (stepping outside the box) http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/sound_files/not_good_enough.mp3

livingauthentically
Guest

You are definitely not the only one!

I do think we can sit back and reflect ‘in the moment’ too!

skooloflife
Guest

Jonathan,

Thanks for sharing this. This is something that I”ve run into quite a bit over the last several months. One of the traps of comparison that I’ve been caught in from time to time is wondering why I’m not as a far as some of the people who started at the same time that I did. Thanks for the reminder to celebrate our success. I think we don’t do that nearly enough.

JonathanMead
Guest

@skooloflife Yeah, that can be really especially frustrating. There’s some people that “started” around the same time I did, that are way far “ahead” of me. Something I don’t think we often realize is what other people have done before they “started.” Woah, that was a lot of ” “

JonathanMead
Guest

@skooloflife Yeah, that can be really especially frustrating. There’s some people that “started” around the same time I did, that are way far “ahead” of me. Something I don’t think we often realize is what other people have done before they “started.” Woah, that was a lot of ” “

MistyDenson
Guest

Can we get a G+ button in here, cuz I that was awesome & I am going to share it everywhere! Thank You for being so transparent!

JonathanMead
Guest

@MistyDenson I do need to get on that! If I know people will use it, I’ll definitely add it.

JasonWDigges
Guest

There is no way to judge ourselves out of the world of judgement. The whole paradigm/mind of ‘carrot and stick’ needs to go. “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I will meet you there. -Rumi”

JonathanMead
Guest

@JasonWDigges That’s a beautiful quote, a lot of potent transmission there. Thanks for that reminder Jason.

KaleenaRivera
Guest
“Do you ever judge yourself for not being where you want to be?” Only since I’ve been able to walk. I was just having this conversation to myself yesterday. As I began falling into another bout of, “You didn’t get everything you wanted done today,” I let myself think of what I did do. About each of the little baby steps towards each of my life goals. And I finally allowed myself to realize that I have come SO FAR. Even in the span of a year. Someone made the analogy (wish to God I can remember who) of Einstein’s… Read more »
glitterdragonflies
Guest
Ever try Mindful Based Stress Reduction? It’s an awesome meditation method of bringing yourself back to the present moment when your mind starts spending too much time dwelling on the past, worrying about the future or making up stories to entertain itself. It also teaches you to accept things as they are now without judgment. My work performance has improved beyond anything I have ever been able to achieve before. I sleep better. I have less anxiety. I could go on and on. Therapists at my local hospital host sessions, which is how I became involved with it, but you… Read more »
WhosCoachinYou
Guest

How refreshing ! I have been waiting/hoping for someone to acknowledge the struggle. Admittedly I can’t read everything that is out there, but it does get a little frustrating when it seems everyone else is just sailing along unfettered “livin’ the dream”. Thank you for starting the discussion about the challenges that even an “illuminated mind” such as yourself faces.

JonathanMead
Guest

@WhosCoachinYou I think if we all realize that we’re living our *own* dream, we’d probably be a lot better off.

tenaciousleigh
Guest

You are not the only one! Nope. It’s easy to compare and judge. I often feel like I’ve fallen behind, but then I try to acknowledge that I’m on my own schedule. We need more of this kind of honesty + vulnerability!

murphtim
Guest
No way in hell are you the only one brother. Count me in for an insane dose of guilt on a daily basis for what I haven’t accomplished. I think that internal force that makes us want to do more is actually pushing us to be more of who we are, to show more of who we are, so we can really share the good stuff we have to offer the world. Every time I push to do more, I find I need to step back and let things flow and then I become more productive. And dude, you’ve helped… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@murphtim Thanks Tim, I know you struggle with this too. I’m really proud of what you’ve created so far and am looking forward to what you create. I think your business has the potential to be something really incredible.

njeri.gaitho
Guest

I always compare myself to others, especially when it comes to my relationship, I look at you and Ev’Yan and wish that my four-year relationship was as blissful as yours, I look at my friends that are making giant leaps in attaining their goals while I seem to make baby-steps. I struggle with everything you said. Thank you for admitting it, I’m glad I’m not alone!

Side note: I dreamt that some huge celebrity paid you 150,000K to coach them!

yourpotentialrealised
Guest
yourpotentialrealised

Its funny how things turn up if you look out for them.This time yesterday I was having a bit of a crisis about this very same point. I was being very hard on myself and was running up a huge list of ” must do’s”. Said to myself “bugger this for a bunch of soldiers” so I took the dog and my wifre for a long walk in the woods. Just reconnected to what was important, which is; being here, alive now. Will read futre posts with interest.

JonathanMead
Guest

@yourpotentialrealised It’s amazing how walking, being in the moment really reconnects you to what matters. Hiking for me is almost a panacea for whatever mental/emotional stuff I’m going through.

deev67
Guest

You’re only 26! :) Still young and have accomplished so much already, so go easy on yourself and continue celebrating the things you have done. :)

justfeelgreat
Guest

“we are all exactly where we need to be, regardless of where we want to go, or where we think we “should” be by now”

There is power in this statement. Whatever we envision for oursleves, our plans become a reality when it’s the right time. When we follow this path, we realize that there is no stress or judgment. Our only commitment is to do the best we can moment after moment and celebrate each day whatever the results…

Thanks for inspiring us through your authenticity, you are really unique.

Steve

JonathanMead
Guest

@justfeelgreat Hey, thanks for stopping by Stephane. Haven’t seen you around in a while!

Matteofan
Guest
First of all, i read your blog for the first time and i really think it’s very very interesting. Secondly i apologize for my english since i’m italian and i can’t write it perfectly. I really recognize myself in what you wrote, sadly i’m always thinking about what i should be doing instead of what i am doing. That’s because right now i’m not happy with some aspects of my life but i can’t find the right way to come out of it. So, while i can be satisfied of what i’ve done….i still compare mysefl with others which seem… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@Matteofan It’s good to know I’m not the only one. I definitely think that you can come out of it, but I’ve realized that the way out isn’t by thinking about more stuff you’re not doing. I think it’s by really enjoying what’s in front of you, and expanding that.

Matteofan
Guest

@JonathanMead …but what if you’re not sure about what you have in front? So, for example, if you realize you are really doing the wrong job, but you don’t know which is the right one?
I’ll be more precise: i studied to be a lawyer, and i work in a lawfirm since 2 years. And i think it’s not my future, i don’t like it.
So…it’s very difficult to understand if it’s me that i’m not enjoying it…or if it really is not the right choise for me…

JeffMunn
Guest
@Matteofan@JonathanMead Hi–mind if I chime in as someone who left the practice of law? It took me awhile to see a way out, but the nice thing about the legal training is that it will open a lot of doors for you. I run into people all the time who are “recovering” lawyers and most are happier than the ones who stayed. Be patient, learn about yourself and what you love, and it will become more apparent what you should try next. And don’t get too caught up in the idea that the next choice you make is the one… Read more »
Matteofan
Guest

@JeffMunn @JonathanMead
Thanks for the support Jeff…it really is hard, because you study for 6 years and then 2 of law practice, and then you realize it’s not what you want.
Also here in Italy you don’t have so many opportunities like you could have if you live, for example in New York….so it really is difficult at 29 being this kind of “lost”.
But you are right, the right thing is to keep doors open and expecially and open mind to changes and opportunities….trying to focus on what we love to do.

khumphrey7
Guest
Jonathan, I’ve been an avid reader of yours for quite some time. I am an “empowerment coach” for women and girls who need the motivation, confidence and energy to succeed. Reading your work has been inspiring and refreshing for me. You’re not like anyone else out there in the blog realm or coaching realm, for that matter. While others model major “guru” internet marketers, I try to watch and model your work. This post spoke straight to me. My husband and I are 28, and he’s fully supportive, but I’ve found myself comparing to others in my industry. Sometimes wondering… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@khumphrey7 Aww, thank you Katie, I really appreciate that. One of my major goals is to not be a guru internet marketer. Glad I’m succeeding at that so far.

KateBacon
Guest
Hi Jonathan I’ve appreciated your honesty since finding your blog a while back. As everyone(!) has said we all spend time trying to “measure up” against others in our field, and it’s obviously common to forgot to see how far you’ve come already instead of thinking you’re not where you “should” be already. In Buddhist philosophical terms, we will NEVER be satisfied, EVER, period. Our lives are a constant craving of something to be better/different. You’ve hit the nail on the head – the thing to do is be right where we are now, and be ok with it. This… Read more »
JonathanMead
Guest

@KateBacon That’s a good point, I agree. I don’t think we’ll ever really be satisfied, in terms of our life’s work. But sometimes I wonder about the whole enlightenment thing, and finding it in a few decades, or in future lifetimes. What if enlightenment wasn’t based on time?

LeslieWolman
Guest

Is perfectionism haunting you? When I read your work I am awed by your insight and love for others. Be gentle with yourself. Give to yourself those gifts you give to others..love and patience and hope. Be here now and allow your gifts to develop as they are meant to. There are not shoulds only what is meant to unfold. We are here loving you not expecting from you. Look at why there is guilt and shame. Toss out with the wind through your window. Do your actions with love for yourself. Be kind. You are worthwhile and deserve it.

JonathanMead
Guest

@LeslieWolman You’re such a warm, encouraging person Leslie. Thanks for these reminders, I really appreciate it.

FrankFeldmann
Guest
Jonathan: I am 47 and the youngest of three siblings. I have a Master’s in engineering and am well placed in a medium sized company, making plenty of money. Yet I am the underachiever in the family, even when you factor out age. I have friends who are far more successful than me. Yet, I have learned to keep the ghosts of unfulfilled dreams away through a few life experiences of mine and others: One married couple who are some of my best friends seemed to be so much more successful. About 10 years ago, around age 38, she had… Read more »
JayCLambert
Guest

Thanks for sharing Jonathan, while I’m no where near where I had hoped or ‘expected’ to be at 38 years old, when I look at some of the challenges I have faced with my family over the past several years, the fact that I’m still standing is alone something I need to celebrate more.

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